Just in case any of you are planning a visit to bonnie Scotland, I feel that it is my duty to prepare you.  When you are sitting in a pub in Edinburgh, drink a few pints, and feel like striking up a conversation with the natives, you'll be able to keep up with the best of them!  You can thank me later :-)

Slang
bairn/waine:  kids/baby
peelie wallie:  pale-looking ("The waine looks pellie wallie today.")
groceries:  messages
day care/babysitter:  creiche (pronounced "cra-sh" with a long a)
boot:  trunk of a car, or a bitchy woman
ken/I dunnie ken:  know, or I don't know ("I dunnie ken how she gets up so early.")
how?:  why?  ("How no?")
aye, right then:  not likely
blather (with a long a):  gossip ("That yin likes a blather, does she no?")
salad dodger/coffin dodger:  fat person/old person
auld yin:  old person
cheeky:  someone with a smart mouth (used to describe sassy children a lot).  Also used to describe someone with balls ("She had the cheek to charge me five pound!").
pished:  drunk
wallies:  you MUST own wallies to reside in Scotland.  They are the heavy, plastic boots you'll see everyone here wearing in the rain.  There are songs written about these ("If I didn't have my wallies, where would I be?  I'd be in the hospital or the infirmary")!  My girls are already suited up.  Pronounced with a long a.
mokit:  gross
boggin':  same as above
yooz:  short for "you all".  "How're yooz doin'?"
cheers:  bye or thank you.  Most people say this instead of goodbye on the phone.  You'll also hear it when you pay for something ("Cheers, thanks"), along with "lovely" ("Just punch your pin number in....lovely, thanks.")
shite:  shit
greet:  cry ("Trisha, the bairn's greetin'!")
hen:  an affection term that older women use ("Would you like some tea, hen?").  David warned me before I met his mother the first time that she would call me hen, and not to be alarmed.
howfin':  stinking
dreich:  pronounced with a long e, with the "ch" sounding like you're coughing up phlegm.  A lovely word used to perfectly sum up a rainy, gray Scottish day.
jag:  anything sharp.  It can describe a shot from the doctor, or something in your shoe that's poking you, in which case it would be "jaggy".
keech:  again, the "ch" should be said like you're coughing something up.  This word means rubbish, shit, garbage, and is very commonly used.  In fact, I turned a certain program on recently, and my daughter declared it "keech".
lorry:  semi truck
maddy:  to take a huff, or throw a tantrum.  This is not why we named our daughter Maddie, but the similarities are eerie ("She threw a right good maddy").
crabbit:  grouchy ("He's a crabbit bugger").

Good things (words to describe things that are good in life)
belter ("That lassie's a right wee belter!")
brilliant/pure dead brilliant
galto
berries ("That film was the berries, man.")
crackin' ("We looked at a crackin' hoose today.")
ya beauty:  this is what David's mom shouts when her football teams scores a goal...."Get on, ya beaut-ay!"  In this case, beauty is pronounced with a long a sound at the end.  Say it out loud now....it works, and it's fun.

Beer (yes, there is a whole vocabulary just to describe beer)
swiftie
pint
bellywasher
frothy fella

Words and phrases for sex: (turn your eyes away, those easily offended!)
shaggin'
ride ("She was a right good ride, that 'yin")
ball deep in the pipe (need I explain this one?)
gettin your nat king
hose
get yer hole

Words for female genitalia
fanny
fud
wee man in the boat
meat curtains
flange
fantan
axe wound

General insults
daftie:  dummie
pelter
roaster
ned
wanker
cunt (I know that's bad in America, but it's used quite commonly here)
tit
clown
radge: somone crazy (David uses this word a lot to describe our kids)
thrawn:  someone who is really stubborn (again used to describe our kids...."She's thrawn, that 'yin.")
bam pot: silly person
cow
muppet (I heard this one today while driving with my friend.  She got upset at a truck that cut her off in traffic and yelled, "Yae daft muppet!" Nice.)
foosh toosh:  not sure.  It's just not nice.

Everyday words
oot:  out
doon:  down
broon:  brown
toon:  town ("We're goin' oot to the toon to do some shoppin'.")
heed:  head

Okay, that should get you started at least.  If all else fails, start watching the great Scottish comedy "Chewin' the Fat" and that will get you right intae it!  Here's a clip for you.  Or you could always just come to Scotland and stay with the Lawries!  Cheers!